Ignorance Really Is Bliss

Life hit me curve ball some days ago. Someone I knew for a good portion of my life came out as gay, but what really threw me off was the way he did it and me finding out. All through our school lives he had been teased and bullied from the way he spoke and carried about himself, so in true Trini fashion kids took those things and ran with it. I'm not a judgemental person when it comes to people and their personal affairs. I already have so much shit on my plate, why add other people's own?

This way of living has gotten me this far why change it?  So when they spewed hateful words at him, I jumped in and defended and when they got physical I jumped in and got murderous. In all honesty it didn't and still doesn't matter to me what was and what is his sexual orientation, what mattered and matters is that through all that verbal back and forth we got in with people attacking him and detention hours I got put in because I got into a fight over someone harassing him he didn't deem it important to tell me, his friend that he preferred someone of the same gender. Granted, it wouldn't have changed anything it just would have been nice to know.

No, he waited years to suddenly cut off all communication with me and then take to social media to advertise his preferences for the whole of Trinidad and Tobago to see. And to put the icing on the cake, befriend people who would throw him to the dogs the minute gay rights become a thing in this country. (I give it a year, trini ppl just love America so much just about everything they do is considered innovation to us).

When said admission was posted on the net, everyone who knew me and knew we used to talk started asking questions and began speaking to me like I was an idiot for not noticing. But look at it from my perspective, why would I just jump to the conclusion that he liked boys when the words never came out of his mouth? That's labelling isn't it? To this day I'm still being labelled so doing it to someone else is just retarded.

That's like saying 'that's racist' to everything a person not of your race just because.

I have no problem with gay people, lets just get that out there, to put it simply I don't give a fuck. What I can't take is homosexual individuals knowing they like the company of other men but dig this deep hole of denial and lay in it until they are covered by so much dirt it becomes harder and harder for them to breathe until they just burst out coughing up secrets and admissions and expect everyone to roll with it. This is my one and only negative thing I have seen with a lot of gay individuals. Seeking relationships with straight people only to say otherwise when a lot of time has passed between them and feelings and future plans has been invested and made.

Don't let your imagination run wild with you now, this has never happened to me, but it could you never know. As you can see my Gay-dar SUCKS!

I got into a heated argument just the other day with some co-workers about this very same thing. I made a statement about beating a guy senseless if he ever told me he was gay after years of being in a relationship. My co-worker jumped in and started defending all of MAN-kind. In his argument he is saying that women is so quick to condemn when in all reality we do it more than men.

We went on and on for a good hour, only for him to realise that I wasn't disputing his claim but agreeing. I'm not frontin', I know damn well we women are tricky creatures. People always jump in with extra shit to say when they didn't even listen to what you said in the first place.

Another example of this was when I used to work at a gym. I always used to get into friendly arguments with the gym members and it only got nasty when the topic of religion and homosexuality came up, which was often because it was a gym and people tend to believe that big muscles equal right to state your outrageous opinions and body shaming. I once asked a friend why the gay rights talk had her in such a tizzy? I mean it's not like it had anything to do with her. Immediately I realised the error of my ways because the scriptures and the 'hell burning' lecture began.

I literally didn't get a chance to put in my two cents. Suddenly a lady nearby jumped into the fray and she started to condemn any and everything not Christian. After when she took a breath and I simply said, "Ok, I understand what you are saying from a biblical point of view, I'm not fighting that because I'm not really religious but, what I am saying is that whether homosexuals are given rights or not doesn't change anything because no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. Giving them rights isn't going to activate some homophobic micro-chip in their head indicating their whereabouts. You all just like making noise for making noise sake."
That of course brought on another long ass lecture. So to make my point more common sense to her I pitched forward a SCENARIO.
"Ok, let me ask you something. what do you think about adoption?"
I got some lame ass answer about giving a child a chance.
"Okay, now what do you think about a homosexual couple adopting a child?"
This is exactly what this woman said to me, "No that isn't right, that is wrong because you don't know what they will do to child, anything can happen."
"So what you are saying is all gays are out to do perverted things to children and convert them to their lifestyle?"
"What I am saying the lord..." I cut her off right there.
"Are you willing to take in a child from a Home?"
"Yes, yes I am. But..." Cut her off again.
"So you are willing to offer a child or children a home, warm bed and food since you know what all round love and acceptance is, great, you know who also wants to offer a child a home, warm bed and food coupled with well rounded love and acceptance? A gay couple."
"Like I said..." you thought right I cut her off again.
"The only difference is that it might be two guys or two women who are offering these things, you are so wrapped up in your own little world to notice that a lot of children are suffering in these horrible places everyday while you are out here spending money to workout for a week and preaching about love and acceptance while condemning people to witch trial burnings. These people might be different but they also want the chance to nurture a life and can very well do it because we ain't."

She left after that mumbling something about something or the other. I said 'we' because in all honesty I am in no position to adopt anyone, I can't even see about myself, I still have problems tieing my shoe.

What I'm trying and failing to say is that even though one might love out of the ordinary that doesn't give other's the right to condemn. In every situation there is always an upside, and I choose to live be seeing the upside to everything because if I don't what is there to look for really?

My ex-friend should have told me, he should have given me a chance. But I also understand why he didn't tell me, he might have thought I would have turned around and stabbed him in the back like many others. Still doesn't change the fact though.

Sigh.... Maybe I should just go talk to him. What do you think?